The Dissent of Killface
Sega
Raise your hand if you
want a game that brings you back from the dead, transforms you into a bear,
tiger man, werewolf, and thunder dragon to fight hordes of monsters in an
ancient, Greek underworld to save Athena on behalf of The Man, Zeus. That's
what I thought.
In a time before (at least before
I was aware of) Conan the Barbarian and Xena, the warrior princess, there was a hot chick (as hot as the late 80s pixels could get anyway)
with a sword, a hot dude with a sword, and their grandpa with a sweet axe and a bad-ass, horned helmet that he head-butted people with. Not even sure what the point of this game is, but who cares when you get to beat up midget thieves for legs of chicken and bottles of magic potion.
Oh and did I mention the fire-breathing dragons you could ride around on?
Basketball the way it was always meant to be played.
A blue dude and his flying friend killing wasps to save bunnies. Enough said.
Take previous sentence and add a gliding red dude who has his own game and joins the blue dude in previous games.
You'll have a
blast walking two-dimensionally through something like 8 levels of rage-filled streets breaking
beer bottles over the heads of whip-wielding hookers in latex. And if the action gets too
intense, you can put together a 3 man posse (most likely consisting of your friend and younger
brother) to clean up the streets as a team.
Okay here's how you play. First, choose Blanka as your character because
he's a big, green, hulk-like mother-fucker. Then, when you fight Ken or Ryu, the first time you
hear one of those douche-bags scream "shoryuken" or "hadouken,"
shove your electrified green foot up their asses. And don't get me started on the cheating
bitch they call Chung-Li. She's the Asian version of Mortal Kombat's Sonya Blade. She's hot,
but the looks wear off after she beats your ass for the forty-seventh consecutive time on
the 'easy' difficulty.
Super Nintendo
If you're really awesome, you'll find the version with Yoshi's game too.
Playstation
The Cards on this game kicked the shit out of Pokemon...I'm talking about original Pokemon too. The bullshit that they put out now sickens me. But seriously, even if I couldn't kick enough ass with all the powers and GFs there are (and I kicked a lot of ass), I could spend days robbing 10-year-olds on the game of all the cards they got for Christmas from their computer-generated parents.
The fact that they took away the awesome, though seldom-used, "in-car" view from the first game is more than made up for with such a vast expansion of weapons, vehicles, and levels. And it went international, baby. Since it first came out, I've never forgotten the god-mode code: press and hold L1, R1, L2, R2, and press up, down, left, right, right, left, down, up." The only other downfall is that the original 'grunginess' of Twisted Metal is also lost. But fuck it, Crimson Fury, had a terrible special weapon, so I'll deal with the fact that Darkside wasn't on this sequel.
Playstation 2
Xbox
Xbox 360
PC
