The Bad

 

The marketing strategist expressing denial of his own personal issues by declaring all tiny candy bars to be 'fun size'.

 

Microsoft Office Picture Manager.

 

Remembering a movie, song, book, etc... and being unable to think of its name.

 

Christians. Need I say more?

 

Nascar.

 

Nascar on Sportcenter.

 

Bottled Water.

 

Advertising while a show is on. And that includes the fucking credits (Maybe I wanted to know the name of the waitress who spilled the coffee in the seventh scene so I could stare at naked pictures of her online)!

 

Commercials in movie theaters. Yes I remember a time when that wasn't so.

 

People who find entertainment in American Idol, Deal or No Deal, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?, etc... Really this list could go on forever but you get the idea.

 

Anyone who would purchase the game "Deal or No Deal" to play it at home.

 

Slow drivers.

 

Stupid drivers.

 

Asshole drivers.

 

Bus drivers.

 

The news. All of it.

 

Mad TV

 

Politicians. All of them.

 

The people who keep stuffing the wallets of all the assholes in Hollywood who continue to puke out parodies of what were terrible movies to begin with. Seriously, it wasn't funny after the 2nd Scary Movie. They aren't going to stop making this garbage until you dumbed-down bitches stop paying for it.

 

PETA.

 

Anyone who owns an Ipod, Iphone, or any other electronic, overvalued, overpriced, piece of shit. Yes, that's right, just because they stand that hack actor from Jeepers Creepers next to the nerdy fat guy from 'The Daily Show' doesn't make anything apple makes worth a damn.

 

Country music.

 

Smalltalk.

 

Russian food. Bitter.

 

German food. Bitter.

 

Italian food. Overrated.

 

MTV.

 

Holidays. I understand the value of having holidays for mindless people to look forward to so they don't just end their miserable lives, but I can't stand this commercialized bullshit anymore. A line is crossed when Christmas shit is being put up before Halloween is over. But that's an entire topic in itself.

 

Cellphones.

 

College tuition.

 

Laws.

 

Garmin.com commercials.

 

All songs and jingles used in advertising.

 

Starbucks.

 

Myspace.

 

Facebook.